You just don't get it.

You know, I think it's really true when people say only people who've been through a certain situation once will understand how another person's feelings because you guys just don't understand okay?

Getting jilted is one matter, getting shelved for another girl is a whole new matter. It exists by itself and is of the utmost PUI SAI experience ever.

It is painful to the max and causes your self-esteem to plummet beyond the negatives.

It causes you to wonder, what the hell did I do? Is she really that good? What's wrong with me? So I never meant a thing to him? Okay fine I'll never love again.

Then you just cry and think about what he and she might be doing. Are they going to the same places you guys went to? Is he saying the same words he said to you, the same stuff he promised you? Is he calling her, is he kissing her? Is he is he is he? Fuck it.

And you go around finding ANY information you can find about them/he/she. Photos, blogs, school, every single little thing. What, you mean she killed an ant ten years ago? You want to know it's name.

You hate him, you hate her but at the end of they day, you find yourself frequenting places you know he goes to and hope that you'll bump into him somehow. You hope that by seeing you, he'll remember you. You hope that by remembering you, he might remember the love he once had for you. You hope by doing this, they'll break up. You hope he might come back to you.

In the process, you become a loser. Everybody has to be a loser at some point in their lives. It's okay. As long as you know how to get yourself out of it. I think it's crap, the stuff they say about "what does not kill me, makes me stronger." That's crap. I don't see how you'll be stronger and I seriously have thought about this statement for half a decade and I still don't get it. Well maybe I haven't experienced it I guess.

So I think you don't come out being stronger but you know what shit to avoid and how to avoid it. You learn, not necessarily in the best way to learn but still, you learn.

Ten thousand years later, even if they break up and he comes back to you and you guys start a whole new relationship, one thing never changes.

She won. You're inferior to her. She won. You're inferior.

That single time you had to vie for your guy, He chose her.

Maybe if she came back, you would lose.

You'll probably lose.

She won.

Never changes. Hurts and it hurts like fuck.

It becomes an obsession and slowly, it changes your character.

Sometimes you go back to who you were, sometimes you remain who you are.
Whichever way you go, it takes time to get over the whole shit.

SO do you guys get it now?
It is fuck painful okay? One of the ugliest forms of break ups and yes, it is on the same level as cheating.

But I guess death takes the cake. and the icing.